I wannas sexs uuuuu
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
