She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
