just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
