Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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