The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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