My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
