I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize