Where did you get a picture of my penis
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.