Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
