well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
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I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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