My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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