I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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