my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
