6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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