yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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