if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
