no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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