That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
