false alarm. still invincible.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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