My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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