A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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