Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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