i just wanna soil my oats bro
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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