He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
