don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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