I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You did what with his pubic hair?
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