we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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