I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize