so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
