Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
