also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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