Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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