I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
