No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
