I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
