It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm at about main and main street
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
