oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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