He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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