After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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