I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
