32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
