Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
