Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
