shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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