is wine microwaveable?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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