Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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