I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
