sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you never un-have a 4some
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize