I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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