Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
