You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
