Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
