I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
