I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
