so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I faked an abortion last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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