and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
