Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize