You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize