it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
do nipples grow back?
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